RR#2

In the “The Guy Code” the author Michael Kimmel describes the pressures of masculinity within the young males in our society. He explains that the guy code is “the collection of attitudes, values and traits that together composes what it means to be a man”(609). Pretty much, guys have to show they are masculine by showing no emotion, and not admitting to any form of weakness. This “masculinity” is shown in everything they do whether it is how they walk, talk, dress and even how or what they eat. They do everything they can so that they aren’t misconceived as homosexual. What I found interesting is that men are not doing this to impress women. It is to impress other men. It is the men that have the power to push you up or down in social ranking, not the woman. Woman, as Kimmel states, are just a currency by which men can negotiate their status

I first noticed “ The Guy Code” when I was in middle school. There was a main group of guys which all the girls had crushes on. Some of the guys in this group would really put other guys down, even the ones in their same friend group. “That’s so gay” and “Fag” were two of the most popular insults. It is true what Kimmel said, it doesn’t necessarily mean, “that is so homosexual of you” it is a synonym for bad, inadequate, stupid, wrong etc… However, if a boy were to do something to slightly even hint at being feminine, he would not hear the end of it. The guys would play off of each other and socially alienate who ever was being put down. That humiliation only motivated all the boys to conform to all the masculine norms such as not showing pain, or sadness but anger and boldness instead. Unfortunately, this type of behavior continued through high school and got so radical and ridiculous, that most of the girls in my grade wanted absolutely nothing to do with the guys. On several occasions I can remember my friends looking up at where the guys hung out and saying “They really think that making people feel like shit makes them cool don’t they?” Thankfully it was just this group of guys at my school. I’m sure they aren’t the only group of guys that have done something like this before. These guys put themselves, and mostly others down so much that they ostracized themselves from everyone else. Their constant need to be better, tougher and emotionless did not serve them any good besides trying to one up each other within their own group.

I agree with much of what Kimmel says in his passage. I completely believe that there is a guy code, and that males are the ones who give rank to those around them. However, I do not believe that it starts at such an early age. Kimmel gives the example of the 3 1/2 year old crying in the barbershop and the barbers saying that he needed to man up and not spend so much time around his mother. I believe that instance was an outlier in the general scheme of things. I would say that guy code really starts in late elementary school or early middle school. That is when boys start to know themselves as more of an individual and have more self-awareness. It is when they begin to form a solid social group of friends because they can start identifying whom they want to hang out around. When these social groups form, that, is when the guy code begins.